is no other option but to be Shomer Habris
1 – There is no other option
Pgam Habris is a very strong Klipah. Rebbe Nachman writes that staying pure from any sort of Pgam Habris in action, thought or speech is the main test a person is subjected to in his life. It is therefore not surprising that many fall to these Klipas, each person according to his personal downfalls.
Even though it is a constant battle to be Shomer Habris a person must do so for his whole life is dependent on it, both in this world and the next. The punishment for any sort of Pgam Habris is extreme. In this world a person is brought through suffering after suffering for his actions. In the next world the person is demolished completely for such sins. Any person in this world who is leading a happy life although he is Pogem Habris, should know that every ounce of his energy is coming straight from the Sitra Acher and in fact his punishment after death will be many times more then those who have suffered in this world for their sins.
A person who is Pogem Habris will receive terrible punishment for his sin as well as he is cut off from all Holiness in this world and the Next.
In Western Society the various sins of Pgam Habris are looked at as if they are harmless. Even in the religious world some of them such as spilling seed are almost totally ignored. Since people do not hear about the severity of these sins they hardly stay away from them. Even the people that were warned that it is a sin to commit such actions look at them like an extremely minor transgression with very little consequences. In Western Society it is considered imposable to be Shomer Habris. There are even wicked people who claim that it is unhealthy to be Shomer Habris.
This is all a lie. Pgam Habris is one of the worst sins that a person can commit. A person is going to be punished for his actions even if he passed his life pretending that he is ignorant and avoiding the truth.
There is absolutely no other option other then to be a mighty worrier and battle the klipas constantly, through every up and down until they are destroyed completely.
Many people who were raised in Western Society, steeped in the Klipot believe that it is imposable to be Shomer Habris. This is not true there are thousands upon thousands of people in Eretz Yisroel that are Shomer Habris, amongst them many that are single and not married.
For those that claim that if a person never fell into these Klipot it is possible, but one who has unfortunately stumbled has no way of picking himself up. This is also not true. There are many Bali Teshuva, who in the first part of their life committed many severe sins. Later they managed to rectify their life and become Shomer Habris.
There are many easy ways to rectify ones life. If one can not handle the severe path of Tikunim and Segufim he can use much tamer methods such as the path of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov which is also extremely effective.
The first thing a person needs is the will to stop. It is going to be a tough battle and a person must be truly committed to stop. A person should recognize that although his Animalistic Soul is still very attached to these Klipot, at times even controlling him. He himself knows that it is a terrible sin and he is petrified of committing it. He must have the will to want to be Shomer Habris. If he was given an easy way to do it, he would go there immediately. Now that there is no easy way to remain pure, he commits himself to fight with all his power.
There is only one way to reach this will, that is to read as much as he can about the severity of these sins and the damage that it causes. Even though this topic is ignored by the Erev Rav of Western Society, it does not excuse one from researching this topic.
Although there is only a small amount of information on this web site, one should begin with this. There is also a list of Sefarim that deal with this topic. A person should try his hardest to study as many of them as he can.
4 – The battle
Even if a person wishes with all his might to stop being Pogem there are many times that he is extremely weak, especially if he was Pogem many times in the past. He must learn how to fight the battle, he must research the methods and weapons and learn how to use them.
A person growing up in Western Society was surely helplessly attacked by the Klipot since he was a child. Now that he has grown older and found out the truth he must garner strength and fight his oppressors, for his very life depends on it.
5 – Making boundaries
Even if a person is determined to stop, there are many times he fall into states of weakness during which sins.
The main solution is to make boundaries. This is the most important aspect for Shmiras Habris. The Kabbalah teaches that a person sins only when a spirit of insanity descends upon him. This is seen in practical reality for a person who wishes to be Shomer Habris has many separations between himself and the sin. At most times the person would swear that if he was given a test now he could pass it. He feels this and knows this logically as well. However once he starts entering the scene of temptation his Mochin-Mind and knowledge start leaving him little by little until he is committing the sin and has no ability or desire to control himself.
There is only one solution for this and that is to never fall into that situation in the first place. A person who wishes to be Shomer Habris, especially if he has fallen many times before must have ten barriers between himself and the sin. The second he brakes through the first two all the alarms must start going off in his head. By the time he has broken the third barrier he must even due an extremely fanatical action to get away. Even though he is still miles away from the actual sin and he believes that he can pull back at any second he wishes, it is not true there will be many times when he will fall. He is losing more of his mochin every second and the control he has over his will now will not be the same in a short period of time. He must run away now even though it seems ridicules.
A person must sit down and make a list of all the things and situation that cause him to stumble. He must then set boundaries so he will not even come close to being in that situation.
6 – Watching ones eyes
A person might ask what is so bad if I read a news magazine, it will never cause me to sin, I am in full control. (besides the fact that each time a person looks at an improper image and has an impure thought that in itself is a sin). Yes this is how a person fall, most times is he was drawn into impurity from places like this little by little.
7 – Do not say no, say later
The evil urge attacks a person through many ways including despair and confusion. If a person looks at the fact that he can never commit the sin for the rest of his life he may believe this to be impossible and give up all together. This is especially important when a person is in middle of a test and barely has the ability to fight this one round. The second he brings into his mind the fact that he must forever be Shomer Habris it is to much to handle, he then feels a complete helplessness and gives in to his temptations.
We have also established that the whole temptation to do an act of Pgam Habris is a temporary sprit of insanity that overcomes a person and then leaves him immediately after he sins. If a person manages to push off the temptation for even a short period of time many times he weakens it greatly. He can then easily prevent himself from committing the sin.
This is what a person should do. When he is overcome by temptation and does not believe that he can overcome his desires. He should not try to completely fight off the desire to do the sin. Instead he should say to himself that he will commit the sin and he will do so freely, but not now rather in 2-3 hours. This is not so hard to do for it is a lot easer to push off the evil urge then to fight it off completely. A person can in every single case push off the temptation for a period of time.
Even though part of the condition was that he would be allowed to commit the sin when the allotted time arrives, he might not even have the temptation to do so at that point. It is also possible that even if he still has a desire to commit the sin it is much weaker then it was a little earlier and now he can push it off again using the same technique but this time it will be even easer. Also as the allotted period of time elapses and the desire weakens a person can start doing some Tikunim and by the time the set period arrives he will be so strong that he will laugh at the fact that he wanted to commit a sin just a short while ago.
However all this is only after he has pushed off the temptation. At the time he is pushing it off, he can not think of any of this. He is only agreeing to push it off for a period of time after which he may sin freely. If these thoughts do enter his head at that time and try to convince him that it is all a trick and that he will stumble in the end, so why not just sin now. Still he must say to himself, if I fall in two hours, I fall and it is irrelevant to me now. Right now I am making an effort to push it off for two hours and then what ever shall happen shall happen. If I win I win and if I lose so I lose.
On a larger scale, a person should sum up how often he falls to these sins. If a person Heaven Forbid is Pogem once a week or even once a day (Rachmanah Letzlan) on an average basis, he should acknowledge that fact. Assuming he is Pogem once a week, he should say to himself instead of being Pogem once a week, from now on I will be Pogem only once every two weeks. On this second week I will be Pogem freely and not even try to stop myself.
This is what a person must do; most times when the allotted time arrives he will be able to push it off further. Even if he falls and commits the sin when the time has arrived he has still won, because he has fulfilled his condition and has only sinned one time in the time he has normally sinned twice. Now that he sees it wasn't so hard to hold off until the allotted time, he can add more time to the condition and push off the sin for three weeks.
This is what a person must do, push off the sin more and more until he weakens it and breaks it completely. If he falls in the middle, it is not the end of the world he will just get right back up and continue pushing it off again and again. If he gets back up a number of times and continues fighting there is no doubt that soon he will break this Klipah and become Shomer Habris.
8– Replace your lust with another desire
The lust to commit sins associated with Pgam Haabris is very strong. However a person also has other desires that are not nearly as destructive. Every person also has the desire to eat. While controlling ones desire for food is very important while trying to progress spiritually or while doing Tikunim, it comes in line much after a person has total control over desires to be Pogem Habris. If a person is experiencing a strong urge to be Pogem Habris, he should deflect this desire into food. He should go and by himself 4-5 hamburgers or a full tub of ice cream. He should then place all his temptation into that until he has nullified it.
9– Stay away from boardom
Chazal say straight out that boredom leads to the various sins of Pgam Habris, and one can see this from experience as well. When a person is bored his mind automatically starts wondering to thoughts of impurity. This is very common until a person has purified his mind and learned to control his thoughts. When a person has nothing to do he looks for something to pass away his boredom. He can easily fall to the trap of reading books and watching movies all of which contain impurity. While this in itself is a sin, it often leads to even worst actions.
A person who knows that on a regular schedule he has blocks of time that he will have nothing to do, should set up in advance a number of things that he will be able to occupy himself with during this period of time. Obviously the best thing would be to do Tikunim and study Torah. If he can't do this he should try to involve himself in some Chesed. However a person is who is far from Kedusha is not always in a state where he is able to do these things. Still this person must do anything to keep himself from being bored. A person should even waste this period of time playing computer or video games, any thing that will keep his mind occupied. (These must be totally free of impurity)
A person should have something lined up to do before he falls into a situation of boredom. He should also have two – three things lined up in case one doesn't work out.
do not try to pass your boredom by watching TV, movies or surfing the
web. Even if you are committed to looking at only clean materiel, many
times you will end up passing into impurity due to your state of boredom.
In addition many times an impure image or provocation will come across
your path and draw you into further impurity. The some warning goes for
reading books or any newspaper or magazine. Almost all materiel printed
in western society contain impure pictures and writings. Even if you expect
it, or convince yourself that it is clean, many times you will come across
an impure part and will not be able to resist looking at or reading it,
this can easily draw you into worst desires. Remember a person who was
Pogem many times, is a very weak person when it comes to tests like these.
The bathroom is a place of impurity; it therefore leads a person to have impure thoughts if he remains there for to long. A person is also undressed when going to the bathroom or taking a shower, this places a person in a situation that he should not want to be in for longer then he has to. One should stay in the bathroom for the shortest amount of time possible.
Many people have mirrors in their bathroom. These should be removed, for the eye sees the heart desires and then a person sins.
Many people have reading materiel in their bathrooms to help pass time. Most printed materiel today contains elements of impurity and should not be in your bathroom. Even harmless books and magazines are all coated in impurity. Even if it is a perfectly clean book one should not be in the bathroom for longer then he must.
11– Never look, touch or scratch your Bris.
It is forbidden according to Halacha to look, touch or scratch ones bris or the areas around it. This is a protective barrier to keep a person away from Pgam Habris. It is not hard to do at all; it is extremely easy once a person becomes accustomed to it. When a person goes to the bathroom he should use a tissue or the end of his shirt rather then touching his Bris.
a person feels that he much scratch himself in that area. He should use
all his control not to do so. This is also a very huge Tikun when a person
feels the need to scratch himself and he does not.
12– Do something extreme
This is the
real and only game. Your very life and soul are at stake, you have to
be ready to do even an extremely fanatical action to save yourself from
Pgam Habris. For example, if a person, heaven forbid has a habit of being
Pogem Habris while in bed. This person should take a lighter or box of
matches and put it by his bed. He must then firmly make up his mind that
next time he has an urge to be Pogem he may do so, as at this stage he
might not be able to prevent himself. However first he must burn his hand.
If a person firmly commits to doing this he is guaranteed to be saved
from falling to his temptation. A person must grow up and leave the immaturity
of Western Society, there is nothing wrong with taking such preventive
measures for this is a battle that a person can not afford to lose.
The average home in Western Culture is filled with hundreds if not thousands of objects containing impure material. Even families that will not bring objects such as movies or internet into their home, still have many books and pamphlets containing impure pictures and writings. Besides the fact that these objects attract spirits of impurity just by laying around the house, they often cause this person and his family members to sin.
Every person must do a total search of his entire home and cleanse it of all Klipot. It is quite obvious that a person must get rid of his television and videos ect. Any person who has such objects in his house is guaranteed that he and his family members will transgress many various forms of Pgam Habris. However even newspapers and magazines that officially contain nothing wrong, often do have much impurity in them. A person should cancel all the subscriptions to newspapers and magazines as well as rid his home of all non Jewish books.
Even if a person must have various books or internet for business reasons and is confident that he himself will never misuse them. Know this, your little children are not so stupid when it comes to these matters. The Sitra Acher is more then happy to provide them with energy to access these materials, if they are lying around your home. Most family problems come from the fact that there are people being Pogem Habris in the family.
When you search
your home to eradicate the Klipot, do not worry about the monetary loss
caused by throwing away valuable objects. If you have piles of DVDs worth
thousands of dollars, do not hesitate twice, throw them out immediately.
Let this be your sacrifice to G-D, he can easily replace the money for
you. Never give or sell your defiled objects to another Jew so he may
stumble on them. Remember the harder it is for you to throw something
away, the bigger Tikun it is when you do.
Sometimes when a person is depressed, weak, lonely the Klipot pretend to be his best friend. A person's imagination also helps the process, giving him many rationalizations to be Pogem Habris maybe even claming that it is good for him. Do not let them lie to you. The Klipot are trying to do one thing, suck a person dry of energy. Even if your state of mind does let you comprehend that they are your enemies, you can recall that a number of days ago when your mind was calm it was very clear who your true enemy was.
you are alone in a room, growl at them, yell out "Get away from me,
you defiled, wicked Klipot. You are not my friend you are my worst enemy,
all the suffering that I have suffered is only because of you."
Depression is one of mans worst enemies. Most of the times that a person succumbs and is Pogem Habris it is a direct result from depression. A person should do anything to get of depression (obviously excluding any activity that is even remotely related to impurity). Rabbi Nachman of Breslov gives many tips and advice how a person can avoid depression.
One must also keep in mind that most of his depression was actually caused by him himself through his various sins. There is nothing that causes depression as much as Pgam Habris. This is due to the fact that much of his mind and emotions are not under his control any longer but are being controlled by the impure spirits he created as well as by his animalistic soul. Also a person who was Pogem Habris, most of the things he tries do not work out. In addition he is put in many stressful situations and is brought through much suffering.
The more Tikunim
a person does the more he removes this state of depression. A person must
acknowledge that since he has fallen many times he must now go through
a period of darkness as he is tested to see if he remains strong. If a
person was Pogem for many years he can not expect everything to be gone
in a week or a month. A person should just look at these states as something
that will soon pass. If at that particular minute a person doesn't have
energy to do tikunim, he shouldn’t do any. However he must be extremely
careful not to fall back to Pogem Habris no matter what the costs are.
Very soon he will once again have a new spurt of energy that he will be
able to use to do more Tikunim.
17 - You are not safe yet
if a person has gone for a long period of time being Shomer Habris he
should not consider himself safe. He should not start letting down his
guard and crossing the boundaries that he has established for himself.
They are just waiting for him to do that so they may once again try to
catch him in their trap. A person must be very weary of the Evil One and
his techniques. Even if a person feels very pure and that he will not
be effected by letting down his guard he should be aware that this is
all a trap. He must continue fighting and doing Tikunim. Even a person
who has been Shomer Habris for years if he starts being loose with his
boundaries, he might be set up on a test that might be hard for him to
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