people want to try and be Shomer Habris however they claim it is "imposable"
until they are married. It is definitely possible, however it is much easier
when you are married.
a person was Pogem Habris a lot many times he has furthered away his soul
mate. Even if he can find her she might not be interested in him or be
opposed to him.
We are listing
a list of Segulot to get married. Many of them are have been proven over
and over to work. Try as many as you can, if necessary repeat one over.
You can try
them all at once, or better one after the other so you do not burn out,
the main thing is to be consistent no matter what happens.
It is very
important that you do not have a specific girl in mind, for despite your
conclusion she might not be your soulmate. Instead use a general term
and enforce it in your thoughts. If this girl is your soulmate then it
will work on her as well.
Tikun 1 –Shir
Hashirim (Song of Songs) right before Sunrise for Forty Consecutive Days
Get the local
time table for your city. Find the time between Alot Hashachar (Dawn)
and Netz Hachamah (Sunrise) there should be at least an hour in between.
For forty day
including Shabbot wake up every day during this time, when you are finished
you can go back to sleep.
Wash your hands to remove the impurity.
First place aside a small coin for charity (dime).
Next announce that you are doing this to find your soul mate or Zivug.
Now say over
Shir Hashirim contains the deepest mysteries of Kabbalah, try to stay
away from the simple meaning of the words if your mind is impure, for
this might be held against you.
Read it from
beginning to end, even if you do not understand all the words. By the
following verses try to meditate on the following (This is not necessary
but it can help you).
You may also develop your own meditation when you find a verse that relates
to your personal case.
Verse 4 – Meditate that you are trying to bring about your marriage
by reading Shir Hashirim
Chapter 1 –Verse 5&6 – Even though you and your soulmate
have defiled yourself in sins never less you are trying to shape up and
you will be answered for that.
Chapter 2 verses 1&2 – You are trying to find your one true
Chapter 2 verse 8- Your voice is being heard and is causing great effects
to accomplish your goal.
Chapter 2 verses 10 – 13 - The time has come.
Chapter 2 verse 14 – Come and show me your face for it is not in
Chapter 2 verse 15 – My sins were al caused by the evil inclination
who held me in his grasp and they were not fully my falt.
Chapter 3 verse 11 – Have in mind the upcoming wedding.
Chapter 4 verse 8 – reveal yourself to me my bride, no matter how
far the space and circumstances are between us Hashem should arrange the
Chapter 4 verse 16- You want to see the results of this Tikun.
Chapter 5 verse 1 – I am doing my part by trying my hardest to the
Chapter 5 verse 2 – Wherever she is your soulmate is 'hearing' your
Chapter 5 verse 8 – You are both love sick.
Chapter 5 verses 9-16 – Try to meditate on your personal good points
and merits that you have.
Chapter 6 verse 1 – You are calling to action any friend or matchmakers
who can help bring this meeting about.
Chapter 6 verse 3 – The same way you are trying to find yours soul
mate she should try to find you.
Chapter 6 verses 8-9 – There are many girls that you can probably
marry but you are only interested in your true soulmate.
Chapter 7 verse 1 – Come back to me my soul mate, even if I have
distanced you through sin, come back.
Chapter 7 verse 11- The same way you want your soul mate she should want
Chapter 8 verse 7 – No matter how much you have sinned, your sins
will not wash away your ability to marry your true soulmate.
Chapter 8 verse 13 – My soul mate I am waiting to hear from you.
After you finished
repeat verse 13 one more time to end on a good note.
Forty days at Kotel
If you live in Yerushalim do it yourself, if not try to find a friend
who might do you this big favor. If not, then pay a torah scholar to do
it for you. The tikun involves going to the kotel for forty consecutive
days and saying a short prayer for yourself and ten chapters of Tehilim.
This has worked many times, I personally know people it has worked for.
The only condition is as follows, you must go for this and only this reason,
if you are praying for more then one thing, it loses a lot of its effect.
If you pay someone to go, first check that he is a person who has fear
of Hashem so his prayers will be accepted. Also get him to agree to go
only for this one cause.
Here is a list
of additional things that are known to work. It is recommended that you
do them for forty consecutive days, 40 days is the time of formation in
the spiritual worlds, this is needed to make a strong imprint. Also it
is recommended that you give a small coin to charity before each time,
for this arouses mercy on you. Say a small prayer stating that you are
doing this to find your soul mate. Also it would probably help a lot if
you tried the to the best of your ability to be Shomer Habris during the
time frame that you are doing the tikun. If you find this 'imposable'
then at least accept on yourself one element that you are not normally
Say Az Yashir (Shemos 15 verses 1-27) (Rebbe Nachman)
- Say the portion of the torah that brings down the sacrifice of the Nisiem
(head of the tribes) (Bamidbar 7-Verses 1-89).
5 - Do an hour of Hisbodedute – Close yourself
in a room where no one can hear you. Pretend that Hashem is in front of
you, pretend that he is your friend. Argue and talk with him about why
you should be able to get married. You can tell him anything, tell him
all your problems, you do not have to feel stupid doing it. Try to do
it an hour for a set number of days (40) if you absolutely do not have
the time shorten it to a half an hour. There are many tips how to help
yourself do hisbodedute but this is not the place to list them all. Here
are two, try to stay only on the topic of marriage and related issues.
Also if you find yourself unable to talk, just the fact that you are sitting
there for a set amount of time everyday wanting to talk is effective,
sit and repeat over and over again "Hashem please help me get married".
For more advice get a Hishtapchut Hanefesh from Breslev.
Say Tikun Klali – most problems of not being able to find a wife
come from Pgam Habris. Say Tikun Klali and tell Hashem that you are very
interested in stopping your sins but need his help by getting you married.
Give Charity- Pgam Habris causes Kares. Kares literally means cut off.
There are many different types and levels of Karess. One element is when
you become cut off from your soul mate. Tzdaka saves from death. Tzdaka
is different, every person according to his financial situation. Give
a nice amount more then you would normally give, say specifically that
you are giving it to find your true soul mate. Also make a vow that when
Hashem answers your prayers and you are engaged you will give an additional
amount to Tzdaka. There are different levels of Tzdaka, one of the highest
is Maten Beseter to a Talmid Chacham living in Eretz Yisrael. Something
that would also work good would to help for the wedding of someone who
can not afford it, there are a number of organizations that do this.
- Prayer at Kidush Levanah
Rebbe Nachman writes that Kidush Levanah (Blessing of New Moon) is a very
auspicious time to pray for marriage.
- More advice from Rebbe Nachman
-Prayer with all your might is very effective to bring about marriage.
-By praising G-D and also by learning Halacha one merits to find his true
-The Kabbalistic Meditations for the month of Ellul can help one find
his soul mate.
-Listening to Torah from the Tzadik also helps. (Tzadik here means one
who has reached the perfect levels of Shimiras Habris, this is rare, we
know Rebbe Nachman himself reached these levels, learning his Torah is
-Tehilim 32,38,70,71 are mentioned in Seforim to be effective
to help one find his soulmate.